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November 20, 2004


That is a beautiful house, but there's a perfect house out there for you. Unlike the "not meant to be" answer given to infertiles when they can't conceive or do conceive and lose it, I tend to think there is a house that is "meant to be" and that you will find that house when you are ready. Same with adoption. I hope your husband found out some wonderful things today. I hope he is telling you about them right now. You have every right to be wary. You've been hurt a lot already. Oh, and you are VERY young. Funny, I didn't realize you lived in St. Louis--I always thought you were a Bay Area girl. Take care.
I'm up at 2 in the morning, have to wake at 7 to go to the gym. My brain won't let me sleep even though the body is so tired... I'm glad you posted. Your life isn't passing you by unless you let it, love. Perhaps you need the time to center, to ind your bliss. When you are ready, you will reach out and grab it and take that roller-coaster ride. Seems like he could find good work on the west coast ;) ....
Believe me, you are not the only one who feels like they're being left behind by all the other infertiles who are busily cycling and IVFing and filing adoption paperwork. Our problem isn't money, though, it's distance. My husband has been overseas more or less ever since we started TTC. He's only been home long enough at one time for us to try Clomid once, as I read about all the other fabulous blog IFers making progress toward their children and try not to be jealous as I wait, and wait, and wait. I hope both of us get a chance to try a real cycle soon. --Queenie
I am an Aries married to a Cancer too. I am the one who drags, my sweetie is the one who gets dragged. I could have written that post if I had your gift. That wooly scarf that you are wrapping yourself in, just imagine warm gentle arms rubbing your shoulders keeping you warm. It's cold out there...and we fire signs married to water signs need to stick together. Best

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