Ahh Yes it is that time of year again when we descend upon Mothball city. Land of the scrumptious pasta and divine pizza. Land of great shopping, gaining weight, counterfeit purses, bridges and tunnels, bakeries, best bagels in the world, and home to the in-laws.
Kids, you Gourmet is off to New York to visit the parents. Where we will undoubtedly come home smelling of mothballs. The smell will ooze into every god forsaken place of our suitcase, nostrils, wrapped packages, water bottles (through the plastic), and even, for the love of G-d, Paris and Nicole may even begin to bitch. However how would that be different from any other time? I cannot please those two. On our return our packages will go into the specially constructed decontamination zone where they will sit and spa until all last toxic mothball smell has purged itself.
Joyous day...in-law visiting. I will be brave. It must be done. At least there will be good food. At least there will be shopping. And might there be any bloggers who might want to meet for coffee? Oh how I would love to have an excuse to go out. And oh how I would love to meet more of you. I just love meeting people behind the computer. If you read me I want to meet you! So email me Okay?
Anyhoo. We we shall be flying the coop tomorrow and will be gone until Monday. Traveling to his parents house is quite an experience. My how perplexing it is to explain. There are pleasantries, oddities, and weird moments. Many weird moments. I cannot say it is a bad moment all together but in the past it has been very very bad.
His mother was quite difficult in the past and was appalled that her son was going to marry me (or anyone for that matter. Never once in the history of his dating life has she liked even one). Accusations were made regarding my weight, my Jewishness or lack of Jewishness (at any given time I was too much or too little), and that the reason that I moved to Mexico was because I was running from the law! LOL That was the best. Manipulations. Lies. Meanness. I knew going into my marriage that I would never be loved like a daughter but hey we all know I was used to that anyway. I was getting a great man...a fine man ...just one with a difficult mother.
After the wedding in which she wore dark sunglasses and looked like she was at a funeral some events occurred that shifted her behavior. I think it helped for her to get to see my family and like a big fondue pot the flavors of our crazy lives began to blend. I am not sure that she had the foresight to see how nice it would be to have a daughter-in-law so to keep her life safe she created ripples that I still feel today. I do not want to rehash the crap that happened because honestly I feel detached from it and barely involved my emotions before when the war was on because it was only a one-sided war that had nothing to do with me. I stayed my ground of being polite and marking my boundaries and left her to wage the battle in her head.
I naively dreamed of having great in-laws who would fill some of the void from my childhood where my own parents never entered. It would have been very easy to battle with my MIL. Very easy. Being the Aries we are primed for battle like a greyhound at the gate. AND THERE OFF! Maturity (dare I talk about my maturity after all the goofball things you are all witness too?) was a must. My spirit spoke loudly that I must hold my head high and take that well trodden road of highness. Because I did not add any flames to her fire on the opposite side of the battleground things are well now.
I made my mind up that she did not have to like me only be polite. Anyone can do polite. Funny thing though that as time has moved forward I think she got past her fears to get to know me and in her way and as much as she could she loves me. Not warm sappy happy love but a polite and comfortable love. Even writing this I am surprised by my choice of wording-love.
The weekend will be a mixed bag of fun, stress, and hopefully a lovely memory will be created. If not at least I had my Carmines vodka sauce on penne.
Weird things I will encounter are numerous. His old house is stuck somewhere in the eighties. The mothballs have frozen the house in suspended time. The dishwasher is so old it is now stylish again with its cool metal front. The dining room has two gorgeous marble tables to make a feast upon but no meal has ever been served there. Only on the eighties table that looks like a countertop with matching legs has food made an entrance. Sleeping in my husband's old single bed underneath the window that we use for a lifeline to fresh air and the normal world that stops at the entrance of his house we will snuggle. We will escape to the enclosed shower that is big enough for two to ummmm continue with our infertility mission and to have an excuse for a non-mother-hovering zone. Yes as a matter of fact I do take hour long showers in New York. Like everything this weekend it will be and odd mixture of tacky and divine.
Maybe I will snap some pictures for you all to see and sneak them onto my blog. Come along for show and tell!
So back to my blogging pals....anyone want to meet for coffee?