Usually, parents tell their children when to come to bed, right? Is this how it works? Ok, so I must be doing it wrong.
You see, Miss Scarlett and I co-sleep. It works for us....well mostly. She gets fluffed up on three pillows. Two side by side that she is wedged on top and then one for her feet because the darling must.....MUST....have something to prop her delicate feet upon or she kicks in protest. The obliging mommy that I am, I give her all three pillows and leave one for me. So it is not like we are snuggled all up like two peas in a pod and she is used to feeling my loving warmth and soothing momminess. It is more like watermelon seeds that just share the same watermelon. They are not touching. They do not know what the other seeds are doing. They do not know when the other watermelon seed is sleeping or pooping or doing what watermelon seeds do.
But the psychic demanding Miss Scarlett does.
I get her to sleep and then jig out of the room in happiness that I get grown-up time. Twenty minutes into grown up time she is wailing to get my ass back in bed right now young lady. Do your kids call you young lady? No? Huh? Is that not right?
She will have none of my grown-up time. Um who is in charge? How does she know that I am not there? I make no noise. Second, even if I did make the whisper of a mouse why then does she sleep through the fireworks that boom incessantly and closer to us than George Bush is to Karl Rove.
This kid of mine is genius. If not demanding as all get out. But genius none the less.....
OMG THERE SHE GOES SHE IS WAILING NOW GOTTA GO..............
Ok I am back. She is sleeping once again. It is not fair! I want to stay up late! Why do I have to go to bed so early!!!!!! My friends stay up as late as they want Scarlett. Why should I not get too? This sucks! Going to bed at your bedtime. Why do I have to have a bedtime? Huh? My friends do not have bedtimes. Can't I move my bedtime back a few hours. You need your beauty sleep and you would not want go get wrinkles right? But see I am not worried about that and I just want to have kid time. I think this is fair. Can we please renegotiate?
Wait a sec...I pay for your formula, for your diapers, clean your bottom, wash your dirty stinky feet, munch on your hands like you like it all darn day to keep you entertained, make weird faces, and do all of the chores you ask me to do! I think I have earned a later bedtime! Please? Pretty please?
APPARENTLY YOUR ANSWER IS NO! I AM COMING, I AM COMING ALREADY....OF TO BED. I HOPE MY FRIENDS NEVER FIND OUT THAT I HAVE TO GO TO BED SO EARLY.....