Full

Sitting on the veranda I can see the mountains and the volcano, dazzling clouds framing the setting sun, and Venus shining brightly.  Beautiful and breathtaking.  I am in a most gorgeous city; paradise.  The weather is gently warm with a hint of coolness that brushes against my face as the wind gently blows.  I have made a pot of masa soup that fills my stomach and makes me smile. I smell the hint of a fire close and tortillas make their way to my nose.  I hear music playing in the distance and I see fireworks going off every few minutes in random locations.  This is a place that could make anyone happy.

But, it is not the landscape that is taking my breath away or the soup that fills me.   It is happiness.  Utter happiness.  My heart is singing and I cry tears of pure joy.  Sleeping just ten feet away from me is my daughter.  My baby.  My sweet and gentle baby. 

All of these years it has taken me to get here.  So many damn tears.  So many  nights of wishing for a child to love.  Days filled with worry and eternal hope.  Finally.  Finally.  Thousands and thousands of dollars and literally a drained bank account with less than a thousand dollars in it is what has taken me to get to here.  My dream place. 

With out any money left I am happy.  I have a child to love and to hold.  My Scarlett.  My precious Scarlett who is so beautiful and loving.  I could turn inside out for how happy I am.  Every tear, every penny, every minute was worth it because I have her.  She is the one I have been waiting for for too long.  My heart is bursting and my cup just runneth over.

Comments

[Amy]

You sooo make me want to visit. I stand by my second home idea. How are housing prices there anyway?

[Bunny]

I am so happy for you. I have no idea what it has been like for you, but I can feel what you have overcome to have your precious daughter in your life. What a beautiful feeling!

[Kimmer]

Well shit, you just made me cry... So happy for you also.

[thalia]

alex, it's wonderful to hear you so happy. I hope your homecoming (soon, soon!) is just as good.

[puppermom]

Alex, Yet another of your posts that has brought me to tears. Once again, I am SO happy for you. Come home soon.

[PaintingChef]

Oh Alex. I hope that one day Scarlett can read this and see just how desperately she was wanted and how much you loved her before you ever even met her. I'm so happy for you and a little hole in my heart has been filled because of you and your sweet, sweet family. And hearing that every second, every tear and every moment of anger, desperation, and heartache is worth it makes me feel so encouraged. Thank you so much. Love to you all.

[Jen]

Incredible, isn't it, how a new life of dirty diapers and sleep deprivation can be so beautifully, perfectly fulfilling? So glad you & your girl have each other, finally.

[chasmyn]

Beautiful. I so not have the words. I am weeping with joy reading these words. I am SO freaking happy for you! I am just beside myself. David and I were emailing about how beautiful you are, how much motherhood becomes you. Even in the photos you can see the peace, the love, the happiness that has come to you, that permeates you. I love you so much, and it give]s me such great joy to see you like this. You deserve this joy, this life. I cannot wait to see you this summer, to have Kiernen and Scarlett meet each other.

[Claudia]

So very nice to read of your joy. Motherhood suits you!

[Krista]

Major lurker..never posted. I am an adoptive mom as well. Your words brought tears to my eyes, so true and so honest. I am so happy for you, Scarlett and your family!!

[Laura]

It's so good to hear the joy and satisfaction in your words. A child can humble you in a way you can't imagine till you're there. I'm so pleased you and scarlett have found each other, finally.

[Carol]

This post really makes me aware of how precious a child and life is. Thank you. A visitor from A Perfect Post