I have been studying for my broker's exam and ignoring my daughter. I managed to get this time by plopping her down for the first time to watch TV. As an intellectual elitist (on my good days and when I am not feeling stupid or when I have had no sleep or well almost never) I scoff at the practice of TV watching. Oh no not my child! Gasp! Shocking neglectful practice. Your child will never get into Harvard Med school and become president! (I know as a int. elitist I should at least spell things correctly, proof-read, and/or correct my bad grammar ...too much damn work and trouble :)
You get the picture, no? Ok truth I do not let her watch alot of TV and she had never really asked for it until I made her a little monsterita this week by one Teletubby show after another. Tinkywinky, La la, tipsy, POE! I am singing this in my head right now. I hate these little teletubbies but at least it is not that purple dinosaur bastard. Anyhoo. So my child's pure mind has been infiltrated with crap.
She has done what all consumeristic little children viewing (GASP!) commercials do. They see a toy they must effing have NOW!!!! Except for absent-mommy-with-nose-in-her-studies pawns this nagging (what the hell is this...I swear for all my tall-tales above of int. elitism....she was never a nagger but a polite child) child off onto Grandma-ma. Grandma was gone on vacation so I kept saying everyday for a week to this alien child..."When Grandma gets home you can go and get the new baby in a carseat". If not once a million times. Now in the future I will not cave into every consumeristic need of my two year old but ohhhhh this was her first....quick honey get the camera....so of course the darling can have what she wants this time.
The second point my little monsterita did was ban me from my show. I needed a break. Not one to watch alot of TV myself but it was on and I needed a break. I put Oprah and Dr phil on. (you are not believing me on the int. el. point anymore are you...damn...it was a good run while it lasted). Do you know what that little Shitake mushroom said to me. "NO MOMMY No Do not watch this show. It is yucky. (shaking her head side to side) this show is yucky!"
Sorry Dr Phil she has not read your Family book and how to treat one another. I swear she is getting her own copy now.