Ok long time that I have shown my face around these here parts! Tumbleweeds are blowing around and I need a cleaning crew to clean the dust out!
Let me just come out and get to the point. Here in Capetown...another IVF cycle.....retrieval tomorrow. Whew! Got it out and broke the writers block.
Although this time I enlisted a fellow infertile who is my best friend. karole is doing an egg donor cycle and transferred yesterday. Two perfect blasts! I, on the other hand, am using my old 34 year old pcos'ing eggs so no hope for blasts from me. I will be happy with my three day embryos if I even get that. I have seven we follicles that are the right size...not to fat and not to thin. Many more lame follicles. Challenged little souls.
So my guess is that I might get four eggs which about half will fertilize leaving me with two. Although in every cycle of mine I have been left with three. Two perfect and one challenged embie hanging on for dear life. Will it be a repeat? I dont know but what I do know is that I did not stim for 21 days in the cycle of the marathon or as my friend V hates it when I call it this...the cycle of the fruits. I pathetically looked for prophetic signs in my fruit each morning. Truly what I remember most about the fruit metaphor was that one morning I opened a papaya which is normally brimming and spilling seeds only to find nothing. Ouch. My miss positivo side may not have emphasized that all too much.
What I can say about my state of mind is that I have mostly just been in the moment trying to stay out of the what ifs. After a bag of needles and gonal f pens, a thirty hour trip, and many ups and downs tomorrow I shall find out if the next step happens. We have had quite a few challenges that were unexpected. Nothing terrible but instead of the relaxing girls get knocked up vacation and have spa treatments instead we are a bit frazzled and just trying to do the next right thing. Oh but we did get our spa treatments :)
I shall say more tomorrow.
